A couple friends and I have been talking lately about how often we make things harder for ourselves than they need to be. For me, that's every damn day. It's kind of silly, honestly. I avoid calling insurance, cable/internet, and making doctor appointments like it's a case of hand, foot and mouth. When I finally resolve to just do it, I'm almost always relieved to have it done and although it's still kind of painful, it's never nearly as bad as I'd imagined.
Part of my intention for the year is to allow things to be easy. How often do we self-sabotage by building up a possible conversation or scenario that never even happens?
I do that with my husband all the time. I realize I should talk to him about something and before he even comes home from work, I've had about seven versions of the conversation with him in my head. I feel certain of what he will say and how he will react. By that point, I am so much more anxious and worked up. The poor guy doesn't even have a chance!
Sometimes it's trying to fit in all I want and need to do around my daughter's schedule. My days start with long mental lists of all that should be accomplished by bedtime. My heart starts racing as I speed from one task to another with a toddler on my hip or clinging to my legs. Yes, I often feel accomplished when I flop down on the couch at night, but I'm D.O.N.E. at that point. I've used up every ounce of me and felt hurried and anxious throughout it all.
This is not the life I want to lead. Being present, being intentional - these are the things I want to be so grounded in that I naturally respond from them.
So, allowing things to be easy to simply what they are will hopefully get me closer to that. I'm still hoping my husband doesn't suggest I call Time Warner anytime soon . . .